Maybe I’m Back

This is exactly what I do – be it with blogging or social media; I start, I get triggered by “exposure,” I retreat. Sometimes a short while, sometimes to the point of deleting the account. And that’s okay, but I have no replacement outlet in the meantime. Something’s got to give. CW/TW: eating disorder :Continue reading “Maybe I’m Back”

The Tyranny of Spring

I always found it curious, in the past, that suicide rates are higher in the spring. Now I get it. I am not ready to re-enter the world. I am not ready to go back to the schedule I had prior to the pandemic. By ‘not ready,’ I mean that just the thought of re-engagingContinue reading “The Tyranny of Spring”

Dying to Live

I think maybe one of the worst feelings in the world is not being able to articulate how I feel, what I need, or what is happening in my brain. The part in The Matrix when Neo’s mouth disappears always makes me feel like I absolutely cannot breathe, I guess because I am all tooContinue reading “Dying to Live”

An Experiment

(Trigger/content warning: suicide) I set this up in an attempt to be able to write more freely than I’ve ever written. It’s not working, because I’m still (over a year later) either avoiding writing completely, or, relegating anything I write to the Draft (or trash) folder. I’m struggling, however, and I’ve decided to conduct anContinue reading “An Experiment”

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